Saturday, November 20, 2004

Alexander the Gay

Oliver Stone is about to release his $160 million epic "Alexander the Great" to some controversy. I had high hopes for this movie. Years ago, I read a biograhpy of Alexander. His military accomplishments were amazing. It is almost incomprehensible that a man could conquer the known world by the age of 30. His troops were outnumbered in most of the battles they fought, yet his brilliant strategies conquered every army fielded against him.

My hopes for a good movie have been dashed by seeing the trailors of an effeminate (although fit) looking Collin Farrell. Oliver Stone has decided to showcase Alexander's alleged homosexual side, complete with a masscara wearing male lover. A line in the movie even claims, "Alexander was defeated only once -- by Hephaestion's thighs."

First of all, there is no conclusive evidence that Alexander and Hephaestion (Alexander's closest friend for 19 years) had a homosexual relationship. There best argument for the claim is circumstantial evidence based on the permissive Macedonian culture. There is evidence for his heterosexuality based on the fact that he had three wives and other female lovers.

It's not looking good for a hit movie here. Middle America does not go to movies about guy-on-guy action. If there are as many as 10% of the population that is gay, that means the other 90% can't relate to him.

Finally, the supposedly great director Oliver Stone is reduced to cliche. In one scene, Alexander's wife puts a knife to his neck on their wedding night after seeing him take a ring from Hephaestion. How many times has the woman-threatens-to-kill-man-before-he-takes-the-weapon-away-and-they-have-hot-sex gimic been used in the movies? It's happened so often in the movies, I almost think I missed out on something because it never happened to me. You'd think Stone could come up with something more original.

I'm starting to think the recent movie Troy will look like a Shakespearean play compared to this one.